How to Be a Good Houseguest
Most of my friends are settling down. They are either married or engaged and many of them have settled into houses and apartments around the US. This is great news for me because it means I have a lot of free places to stay. Of course, staying with friends isn’t as simple as some people make it out to be. Being a houseguest is serious, whether you are crashing with an old college buddy or couch surfing. I’ve stayed with strangers via couch surfing, slept on my friend’s couches, and even hosted my fair share of house guests. There are certain things you can do to be a good house guest and keep being invited back. So far I’ve stayed with most of my friends at least twice, so these guidelines seem to work.
Give them as much notice as possible
When you are living a fairly nomadic lifestyle, you can become accustomed to just buying a plane ticket and showing up in a new city. That’s great for you, but that’s not how people with steady jobs and routines function. If at all possible, you should consult with your hosts before even finalizing your travel plans. That way, they can take time off work if they can/want to and rearrange some of their regular routines.
Don’t expect them to take care of you
Rachel and I stayed with our friends Ben and Ellen in DC. Ellen was kind enough to take us sight-seeing.
Remember, your hosts are doing you a favor. It’s possible that they have the vacation time to take off work for your entire stay and squire you about town, but that’s not usually the case. Most of the time, you will need to take care of and entertain yourself for a large portion of the trip. If you want rides places, you need to try to work that out with your hosts without being a total nuisance. Of course, your friends or hosts should be able to provide you with a list of sights to see and places to eat, but other than that, you need to be able to function on your own.
Clean up after yourself, and them
You should never, ever expect your hosts to clean up after you. Your stuff is going to be slightly in the way, but try to minimize the mess as much as possible. If cook or eat, do the dishes. In fact, do your host’s dishes too. I’m not saying you need to scrub their house from top to bottom, but it doesn’t hurt to help out in little ways. Of course, sometimes your friends will say they don’t mind doing the dishes or sweeping up, but it’s nice to do that kind of stuff when your friends are at work, so they can come home to a cleaner house than they left.
Make their life easier, not harder
Obviously, you are an interruption to their usual routine, but try your best to make it a pleasant one. Do whatever you can to make sure they aren’t inconvenienced and also try to find ways to help them out. The aforementioned cleaning is a great idea, but not the only one. While staying with my friends in Denver, I took their huge dog on hour long walks every day. This saved them the money on a doggy day care. I got to see some pretty parks and the dog got his exercise for free. It was a win-win.
Offer to pay for something
Drinks with my friend Erin in Kansas City, MO. I think I picked up the bill. If not, i definitely paid for ice cream later!
While the fact that you are crashing with someone shows that you are on a budget, that doesn’t mean you have to be a cheapskate. Take some of that money you saved on a hotel room and offer to pay for a dinner or some groceries. You don’t have to foot every bill, and your host may not even allow it, but even the offer of paying shows that you appreciate their hospitality.
My wonderful hosts in Rosario, Argentina
I feel very lucky to have stayed with some excellent house guests. My favorite couchsurfing experience had to be the couple I stayed with in Rosario, Argentina. We had such a good time, and they invited me back anytime I pass through Rosario. As for my US friends, I’ve stayed with friends in Alaska, Colorado, Maryland, and Missouri – all with invites to come back. I’m happy I have the freedom to visit them so often, and grateful that they always welcome me into their homes.
