Remember To Remember Me

In June 2010 I picked up my things and left my hometown for Buenos Aires. I left everyone behind, other than my dog, Padfoot. I have written several posts about the decision and the results such as 2010: My Greatest Challenge, Knowing When To Say Goodbye, Finding Freedom in Buenos Aires, and the most recent, Dear Awkward Girl From the Suburbs: It Gets Better. I spent 14 months in Buenos Aires before finally being able to make it home for an epic 5 cities in 6 weeks trip to see all my friends. This post is dedicated to that trip.

Distance showed me who my true friends were

I have been far from isolated from my friends since my move here. Thanks to glorious technology, I can email, Facebook and Skype with all my friends and family. Yes, it has been hard and I really miss the hugs and lazy nights with my friends, but being away has shown me who matters in my life. After 14 months away, I was able to go back to several old friends and pick up right where we left off. We didn’t have awkward life-update lunches, we had normal hang out time. We did not say empty things or ask stupid questions like “How have you been?” You know why? We already knew. My wonderful, beautiful friends never lost touch. They were all about communication. When I visited my friends Abby and Jack in Denver before I moved to Buenos Aires, I bawled like a baby when I boarded the plane. I was so scared to leave my friends. This time, Abby and I hugged and said we wouldn’t cry this time. After 14 months on different continents we still knew when the other one was having a bad week. Our friendship doesn’t suffer from the distance.

I truly expected to weep like a child at the sight of every person I visited. I was mentally preparing myself for overly dramatic reunions. I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t like that with anyone. Yes, I sprinted into Ellen and Ben’s arms in DC, I threw my suitcases on the ground get to Erin’s porch faster in Kansas City, I sped past gambling tourists to find Alex and Emily in the Las Vegas Airport and I hugged people repeatedly at my St. Louis reunion – but I didn’t cry. After the initial shock of seeing each other in person had passed, it was just like before. My friends never forgot about me.

They didn’t just understand – they were proud

I did not move to Buenos Aires to run away. I did not want to leave the people I loved behind, this is just something I had to do for myself. Sometimes when I see my mom on Skype, I feel selfish. When I see important things happen in my friends’ lives, I feel guilty for not being there. My trip home made me realize that those emotions are totally unnecessary. Everyone was so happy for me. My friends did not just understand and support my choice – they were proud of me for having the strength to do it. As my mother cried and said goodbye to me in the airport once again, she grabbed me by the shoulders and said I could not be more proud of you. No one could ask for a better daughter. No one.

Thank you

I have said it before but I could never say it enough. Thank you all for understanding. Thank you for supporting me and most of all – thank you for not forgetting me. While I was home, I found a song that I considered to be the anthem for the trip. It’s called “Hummingbird” by Wilco. These are the lyrics that touched me the most:

[Her] goal in life was to be an echo
Riding alone, town after town, toll after toll
….Remember to remember me
Standing still, in your past
Floating fast like a hummingbird.

This is a freshly tattooed super-swollen foot. My foot does not always look like this.

Here’s a look at my normal-sized foot

I felt so strongly about it that I got a new tattoo:

I highly recommend listening to the song as well:

Traveling has made me happier, but seeing my friends at home will always be something I treasure. Luckily for me, they will always be there for me.We have an unspoken deal, I promise to keep visiting and they promise to keep in touch. They want me to live my dreams as much as I want them to live theirs. So if you want to travel and your friends are what are holding you back – just go. The ones who matter aren’t going anywhere.