Finding freedom in Buenos Aires
Back when I kept a different online journal, one much more like a diary than this one, I remember creating a post highlighting how sad I was when one day while driving “You Remind Me Of Home” by Ben Gibbard came on and the refrain pounded painfully into my head:
“…in a suburban town with nothing to do, patiently waiting for something to happen…
You’re wasting your life, wasting your life
wasting your life, wasting your life”
Why do I bring this up? I am making the most of my life now. I want to say it– or type it–loud and clear:
I am free!
I have always been a complete workaholic, totally focused on the future and my success. In the past, it never occurred to me that I might be holding myself back, or at least letting my far too limited description of success get in the way.
This isn’t totally, new, of course. I have been trapped before, but I always realize it and get out. I know that there is no point in living a life that feels like work. Towards the end of high school, I was miserable in my suburban town and desperately needed to better myself. I knew it made much more financial sense to live at home and commute to school, but I couldn’t compromise my happiness.
I am better than a cubicle
At the end of university, I knew I hated my well-paying marketing job. I knew I was better than that pointless cubicle and I wasn’t willing to start paying off the $50,000 debt I accrued while working towards two degrees that had absolutely nothing to do with my current job.
I worked one wonderful year as a bilingual preschool teacher and school translator/interpreter. I cried when I left because looking back, I knew there had not been a single day that I had woken up and not wanted to go to work. That is true happiness.
However, it was definitely time for me to move on. I had long since outgrew the life I was living. I know that I knew that long before I was ready to admit it to myself, my friends or my family. I was trapped, but didn’t want to be. It’s hard to know that even people and things you love can be holding you back.
No regrets
I have not once regretted moving to Buenos Aires but myself. In fact, it only makes me realize that I waited too long, and that I truly have no real reason to rush back to the US. Friends, before you flip out, of course I miss you. I miss you so much more than I can even express and I still am not used to not being able to text you, see your face, or hang out at all. However, the expat life is calling and I need to roll with it.
I love being happy with my work and not caring about being rich. I have 4 jobs. Do I have to spend time working on my blog? No, but I love it. Do I really need to spend 10 hours a week homeschooling a 4 year old? Not really, but I would never leave that kid. I adore him. I like all of my jobs. Yes, I am a workaholic, but I am only addicted to work that makes me happy.
I love my life here
My life here is full of new experiences and challenges. I’ve learned more than just culture and language, I’ve put myself in uncomfortable situations and excelled. I make business phone calls in Spanish. I talk to random people in coffee shops because I like the music they are playing. I learned how to play squash. Have I ever won a game? Nope. I may not be amazing, but I can really hold my on on the court now and I promise you, my first victory is in the making and I am really enjoying the challenge.
Money will always be necessary, but “profitability” will never be my main concern and I will never allow appearing crazy to stop me from doing something I want to do. I really hope all of you live the way you want to and the not the way you feel you have to.
Also, for your enjoyment, some proof that I really do play squash:
