A NYC Cruise Tour for People who Hate Cruises and Tours
I’ve never been a huge fan of tours. I find the overload of information spewed in the form of a memorized script a little boring, and I generally find the people on the tour unbearable. I don’t hate cruises, but I do get seasick on occasion, so long and unnecessary boat rides aren’t not exactly in my top five. The problem was, I wanted to get a good photo of the Statue of Liberty and I wanted to see the New York skyline from the water.
The Beast to the Rescue!
I had only heard of The Beast due to an episode of 30 Rock. If you are a fan, you may remember that Jack Donaghy’s pseudo-girlfriend from Boston once came to visit and was shown popping into his office yelling “Come on Donaghy I wanna ride that boat that looks like a shark!” Please imagine that quote in a heavy Boston accent, as it makes it much funnier.
Raawwwrr!
The point is, I considered The Beast to be somewhat of a touristy gimmick. However, Pedro and I both had a CityPASS, which included a free ride on The Beast. Once I repeated the “I wanna ride that boat that looks like a shark!” line in my best Boston accent about 20 times, we decided it would be a hilarious adventure. The ride itself is only 30 minutes long. Instead of taking a 1.5 to 3 hour new york cruise tour to see the skyline and the Statue of Liberty, we could knock it out in a mere half hour. I was sold.
T-Payne would love this
The boat was as beast-like as I had hoped. As we waited in line, I giggled over and over again, and only mildly hated myself for loving the boat so much. Once we were on, the laid-back crew members basically told us – hey, you’re probably going to get wet, this boat is going to move fast, and you better hold on. Once they added that the ride was basically like being on a roller coaster without a track, I was down-right pumped. The engine fired up and so did the stereo. They blasted everything from 80s hair bands to the latest pop and hip-hop hits. One guy ran around offering to snap photos of people as their hair got horribly tangled in the wind, which was very convenient since I was terrified my camera would just fly right out of my hands.
The photos of us with tangled hair are less attractive, so here’s my pre-ride beast face.
Once he was done taking photos, he began messing with people. I watched as he convinced a 5 year old child to take a water balloon to throw at the captain. Just as the untrusting little boy reached out for the balloon, the guy squeezed it and made it explode in his face (and consequently, mine, as I was seated behind him). The boy squealed with delight. We were then squirted with water cannons, and encouraged to scream louder so the boat could go faster. The driver didn’t try to win me over with tour scripts, he just said “hey, that’s the Empire State building, that’s the new World Trade Center, and here we come up on Lady Liberty. Now you folks know everything I know!”
This tour was perfect for someone like me
If you share my impatience with long tours, then this tour is perfect for you. I got to have a fun 30 minutes, but I also got awesome photos of the skyline and the Statue of Liberty. The longer tours cost around $38, while this cruise was only $26 for adults. I used my CityPASS, so it was included along with several other attractions. The CityPASS allowed you to switch out The Beast for a longer tour if that is more your style, or you could go on one for free and use a buy one get one free pass to go on another. They’ve got you covered. I was so ready to make fun of this tour, but in the end, I totally loved The Beast and would highly recommend it.
Statue of Liberty
Disclaimer: I was given a CityPASS to review, but all opinions are my own.
