A Guy as Interesting as Cardboard
Welcome to another post in my Dating in Buenos Aires series.
Today’s subject: Hernán
I will admit it right now, I am so picky that the fact that this guy’s name was Hernán made me a little wary. I went on the date anyway. I should have listened to my instincts.
Buying a bitch a drink
Guys do not buy me drinks. For a long time, I assumed this was because I am just not a strikingly attractive girl. Please don’t take that as a fishing for compliments attempt, I know I’m no wildebeast, I’m just explaining my mindset. A few years ago, my guy friends started to tell me the truth. They told me that guys do not buy me drinks because I am so intimidating.
I was confused by this. I did not mean to look intimidating. I asked them to elaborate. They explained, “You have this look about you that says – I do not want to talk to you‘” I have accepted that this is due to my default frown. I cannot help it. And let’s be honest, I probably don’t want to talk to them. When I asked my friend Jorge if this transferred to Argentine men, he said “Oh I don’t know, Rease, why would a guy be intimidated by you? Oh maybe because if the date goes bad you will mock them on the internet” Well said, Jorge. Well said.
The point is, Hernán bought me a drink. We met at my friend’s goodbye party at a bar. All of my friends got gloriously drunk very quickly and I was very jealous that my high tolerance was killing my wallet. When Hernán asked if he could buy me something, I accepted. It was late, so our conversation did not last long. I had a long bus ride home. He kindly offered to walk me to the bus stop. I declined, but did give him my number when he asked.
Your life is so much more interesting than mine
For our date, Hernán and I met at another bar. He ordered for me, something many Argentines do that I find incredibly annoying. I accepted this and tried to just get into the conversation. He quickly told me about his job, how he lived only a few blocks from his childhood home, had only 1 hobby and didn’t really do much. I tried to grab onto anything interesting about him. He told me he was a licensed pilot. This sounded pretty interesting, so asked him if he learned to fly because he loves to travel. He said no. He basically told me he didn’t care if he ever got anywhere, he just wanted to fly in circles.
He started asking me about my life. How I had ended up in Buenos Aires, what I studied, what I do for a living, etc etc. I explained my move, my totally different degrees (Audio Production and Spanish), my multiple jobs and several hobbies. I tried to engage him in a conversation about any one of these things, but we could not find any middle ground. He simply stared at me and said “Your life is so much more interesting than mine”
Sad but true, Hernán.
No passion for the boring
I tried to bring Hernán back into the focus of the conversation. Surely, he was just flattering me by telling me I was more interesting. He must have something. Anything. I asked him about his work. He spent a decent amount of time explaining it before he added, “Yeah, it’s not a dream job”
I jumped on the mention of a dream, thinking we could really get somewhere with this. “Oh? Well what is your dream job? What do you plan to do?”
He looked at me, seemingly confused by the question, “My job pays well. I will stay at my job.”
“Well, sure, for now. But what will you do later? What dream job are you working towards?”
Weird look again. He spoke to me as if I was having trouble understanding his Spanish and said, “I don’t need my job to fulfill me. I don’t need to like my job”
And that is where the date ended for me. As a lifelong workaholic, I could not understand this man. Here he was, 32 and dreamless. He had no goals, only 1 hobby, and no desire to ever be or do anything else, ever. How could a guy look me in the eye and tell me I am more interesting than him and simply not care? This guy was so boring it depressed me.
Hernán added me on Facebook. I allowed this only because there was nothing awful about him. He was like a cardboard box. Boring and plain, but perhaps with some crayons and glue I could make him into something interesting? An Argentine friend, perhaps? Alas, it was a lost cause. Even online he was boring. I found myself sighing loudly every time he messaged me. I slowly stopped responding to his chats and then waited an appropriate amount of time to un-friend him. Poor Hernán. I really do hope he finds a personality someday.