Playing Helpless and Dumb in Argentina Customs

I recently returned from a 6 week trip home in the USA. While there, I purchased a lot of things for myself and even more for other people. I had a lot of new shoes and clothes for myself, but what I was really worried about were the 3 sets of expensive headphones, iPod, Macbook Air, iPad accessories, RayBan glasses and countless other pricey items that are 4 times as expensive in the US.

The other complication is that I am a US citizen but an Argentina resident. This puts me in some sort of weird limbo category, both reachable and unreachable by laws that apply to each group. Yeah, it’s complicated.

Turning on the waterworks

I am just going to be real with you, I was sniffling and allowing silent tears to pour down my face the entire 30-45 minutes between exiting the plane and getting to the passport entrance stamp. I was not faking it. I was emotional enough to consider trying to get them to turn the plane around and take me back to the US. I did not do this, but I did cry like an idiot in public.

Why am I telling you this? Because it brought the questions upon entry down to one. I went up to the agent and passed over my documents. He asked me “¿Cómo le va?” (how are you) before he looked at my face. He looked up at me as I said “todo bien” (everything’s good) with a shaky voice, tears on my face and a tissue clutched in my hand. He was so uncomfortable that he just put his head back down and stamped everything as fast as he could.

Si! America! Si si AMERICA!

I stood in line at the scanners in customs and watched several people get pulled aside and forced to explain electronics, mostly computers. Knowing I had not only my computer but a Macbook Air for someone else, I was getting a little worried. However, when I got to the scanner, I played it cool. After all my bags went through, I was stopped. The exchange went like this:
Agent:(pointing to my backpack) “Tiene un notebook?” (do you have a laptop?)
Me: (pointing to my backpack) “Aca? Mochila.” (Here? Backpack.)
Agent:(speaking slower and making a typing motion) “Notebook. Hay un notebook adentro?” (Laptop. Is there a laptop inside?)
Me: (nodding my head and smiling) “Laptop. Si!” (Laptop. Yes!)
Agent: “Esta declarado?” (is it declared?)
Me: (smiling) “Laptop! Si!”
Agent:(making a writing motion) “Declarado?” (declared?)
Me: (smiling) “Laptop! Si!”
Agent:(sighing) “Eres Argentina? (Are you Argentine?)
Me: (pointing excitedly to myself and smiling like a fool) United States!

At this point the agent waved me away, sighing heavily, wanting nothing more to do with a stupid American. Worked like a freaking charm.