Open Letter to Surly Airline Employees
by Rease Kirchner
We have all run into an unpleasant airline employee at some point. I want to let it be known that I have met several pleasant ones as well. I also have a pretty good idea of why these employees are so crabby, this letter is just a fun way to let them know that I’m on their side.
Dear Surly Airline Employee,
First of all, let me just apologize. I am sorry you have had a terrible day, week, year and likely, better half of your life. I realized you have probably seen a thousand other people here today, many of them as surly as you and likely the cause of such unpleasantness, but give me a break. I am approaching you with the best of intentions. I do not wish to argue with you, blame you for my problems, or ask for any miracles. I just want you to do your job. Please refrain from treating me like a criminal or the cause of your personal anguish. I do not appreciate your over-zealous inspection of my luggage that I know is regulation size, nor do I appreciate your heavy sighs that follow my every word.
I realize that you do not create the rules, but please do me a favor and recognize the absurdness of some of them. Yes, I realize that person in front of me should have removed the leftover ketchup packet from their jacket pocket, but do we really need to let that person’s stupidity ruin all of our days? Does it have to result in an extra invasive pat down for me? I am but an innocent bystander of the ketchup fiasco.
I think we can both agree that people who bring oversize carry-on bags are obnoxious. These fools have made it past countless signs, size testing displays and no doubt have heard and seen all the warnings. However, one or more of these idiots will inevitably make it onto the flight. They will annoy us both as they slam their massive bags into far more space than they are allotted. You hate them and so do I. Why is it, then, that you feel the need to single me out? I, final zone boarding passenger with my meager backpack which happens to hold my laptop, am not responsible for the oversize carry-on buffoon. I suggest you take your anger out on them instead of getting pissy with me when I calmly explain that I will not be checking my laptop bag.
Oh, surly airline employee, please do not take offense to this. I know you run into thousands of assholes, each and every day. People that want to bring their fruit basket overseas, children who throw peanuts at you, passengers that treat you as their personal servant and, worst of all, the people who are having a terrible day and think it is simply all your fault. I am merely asking you to remember that some of us are not miserable jerks, so give us a chance to smile politely, follow the rules, and make your life just a little bit easier. Also, let it be known that you have an ally should you wish to take revenge on any unpleasant passengers, we’d make an excellent team.
Sincerely,
A traveler with good manners
Rease Kirchner a staff writer/Travel Adviser for Travelated. She is a US citizen currently living the ex-pat life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She is bilingual and an experienced traveler. She loves gaining and sharing knowledge of local cultures, customs and adventure. Her blog Mi Vida en Buenos Aires documents her life as a foreigner.
