Open Letter to Argentine Creepsters

If you are a woman, you will surely be able to relate to this post on some level. Creepsters happen to all of us.

During my time in Buenos Aires I have had 4 fanáticos of varying degrees of creepiness, dangerousness and general ability to annoy the crap out of me. They ranged from ages 19-40 and were all pretty different. However, they all had these things in common: arrogance, persistence and creepiness. Their persistence is what really made them stand out because let’s face it, creepsters are a part of any woman’s life, especially women in Argentina. However, admitting that fact does not pardon creepsters, so here is my open letter to the creepsters of the world.

Dear Creepsters,

You are pathetic. No self-respecting woman would even walk on the same dog-piss stained sidewalk as you if they could avoid it. No one cares if you have money, it certainly couldn’t buy you class and we can earn our own money and buy our own damn dinner. Quit staring at our chests and acting like our breasts should be honored to have your grubby eyes’ attention. Your gaze makes us want to shower for days on end. Calling us queens and sweethearts while you drool all over your dirty face is not going to win us over. Believe it or not, we are not flattered by your use of pet names while you try to get our attention as we speed walk through your Creepster stench. We know you think you are God’s gift to women and we would be so lucky to be graced with your company, but chances are you live with your parents and expect us to relish the idea of cooking you dinner. Turns out we went to college, have our own apartments, practice proper social etiquette and are and always will be better at life than you.

To those creepsters who were lucky enough to weasel some sort of interaction out of us: please do us a favour and forget what we look like, where we live, our phone numbers and that you were ever allowed to interact with us in any way.

Lastly, stop making excuses for our rejection by calling us prudes or lesbians and saying we need to “get some”. We would rather let the entire human population die off than go through the agony of a night with slimy loser like yourself.

Sincerely,
The women of modern society.

For more creepster stories, check out my Dating in Buenos Aires Series.