How not to be a douche at a concert
Last year I went to see Belle and Sebastian here in Buenos Aires. Being able to see them anywhere would have been awesome, but seeing them in Buenos Aires, playing in front of a shockingly large crowd was amazing. My experience was only slightly soured by the fact that I was sitting between two of the most annoying girls of all time. This rant will be about concert etiquette, something these two girls clearly know nothing about.
No cell phone conversations
Okay, if you are trying to find a friend who is also at said concert, this might be acceptable, though texting seems like a much more logical and effective plan of action. However, having a full conversation on your cell phone is not only pointless but annoying to everyone around you. They always go a bit like this: “HEY! WHERE ARE YOU?…..WHAT?…..WHAT?!….I’M AT THE CONCERT! HELLO? I AM AT THE CONCERT! WHAT?! I CAN’T HEAR YOU. CAN YOU HEAR ME? WHAT?!” What exactly do you expect to get out of a conversation like this?
No long conversations during songs
Perhaps you think because you are not holding a cell phone to your ear that you are entitled to have as loud and as long of a conversation as you please. Incorrect. Save the drama about your recent fight with your BFF for the down time between bands. I don’t want to hear you screaming over my favourite song about what a bitch Jessica is or how your boyfriend is being a dick. You paid for this show and so did I, so let’s enjoy it, shall we?
No singing along if you don’t know the words
This is not your shower, so save your half singing, half humming off key for when you are confined to a small space. If you know the words, sing your heart out, if not, keep your mouth shut so the rest of us can hear the real version, not your haphazardly concocted one.
No screaming during quiet parts
Have you people never heard of dramatic pauses? The performer didn’t bring out his acoustic guitar and pause to let the strings ring out so you can scream“I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!” loud and clear. Respect the slow and quiet songs and stop screaming nonsense while the performer is attempting to speak.
No dancing without music
I love to dance it up at concerts too, but I reserve that for when music is being played. When the performer is having a chat with the audience or a roadie is fixing a mic there is absolutely no reason you should be wildly flailing your arms and shaking your hips. Bad dancing is completely forgiven when the music is going, but without it, you look like you are suffering from an ant infestation within your clothing.
