5 Things I Forgot Existed in America
After spending nearly two years living in Argentina, my mind seemed to have forgotten about a few things back in the US. Sure, I remembered my home country and missed plenty of things, but when I came back and experienced some reverse culture shock, I found there were a few things I had completely forgotten existed. Some realizations were exciting, others were depressing, but these are 5 notable re-discoveries.
1. Twizzlers
Twizzlers
How could I have forgotten about this tantalizing treat? I have been in love with Twizzlers since I was a small child. Since my mom kept them in the pantry, I considered them a snack food. It wasn’t until college that I took the time to read the label, only to discover these deceptively “light” licorice sticks are actually a sugar-packed candy. Twizzlers cannot be found in Argentina, so when I came back and saw them in a gas station, I was overcome with joy. I’m sure the attendant thought I was out of my mind. I excitedly tossed them onto the counter and basically ripped the package open seconds after I paid for them. My addiction has been back in full swing ever since.
2. Pennies
All these pennies would probably net you a whopping 2 bucks,
Seriously, America? Why the hell do we still have pennies?! In Argentina, the lowest denomination is 5 centavos, and even those are almost useless. Pennies are just absurd. How could the stupid coin even be worth the copper it is made out of? All those Leave a Penny, Take a Penny dishes are just wasting space. No one gives a shit about a couple of cents. Pennies cannot be used in vending machines or parking meters, so they have basically no practical, every day use. Sure, you can save them up, but even if you saved all your pennies for an entire year, you’d probably get around $5 bucks. I hardly think that’s worth the space they are wasting in wallets and coin dishes everywhere.
3. Public drinking fountains
I never forgot about free water in America, not even for a day. I cursed every time I had to pay for water in Argentina, so the free-flowing water of America was never far from my mind. I did, however, completely forget about drinking fountains. Not only is water free in America, but we have it readily available in parks, malls, and businesses?! Magical! I re-discovered these clever contraptions about 2 weeks after I returned home. I went out for a jog and forgot to bring a water bottle. Just as I was thinking to myself, “Man, I am thirsty,” I spotted a water fountain, right there in the park, only a few steps away. I inspected it suspiciously, as if I expected that it would shoot out acid instead of water, but, amazingly, water was what I got!
4. Dollar Stores
Oh my God, dollars stores. The endless aisles of deals, deals, deals. Where else can you pick up such a random assortment of items, everything from cleaning supplies to cutlery, all at the low, low price of ONE dollar? I got so used to going to 5 different niche stores to get everything I needed in Argentina, that all-inclusive stores like Target and Walgreens were always on my mind, but somehow Dollar Stores were forgotten. These cheap stores, full of equal amounts of garbage and treasures are truly American. We’ll buy anything for a dollar. Pot holders? Why yes, I do need a couple. Silly string? Well why not, buy 10! Is that a set of glow stick bracelets? Toss it in the basket! And grab some sponges while you’re at it! Now that I live only a 3 minute drive from a dollar store, I find myself there at least once a week. Sometimes I actually need something, other times I just want to see what I can waste a few dollars on. America.
5. Junior Beauty Pageants
Sigh. This one I was happy to forget and oh-so-depressed to remember. Come on, America, really? Not only do these horrible things exist, but now there are several TV shows about them? Who are these terrible parents who raise devilish divas who wear clothes that are sluttier (and more expensive) than mine? Why are these 5 year olds caked in make-up and told to dance? What makes it worse is that these girls are becoming celebrities. I do not watch TV or keep up with pop culture, but I still know who Honey Boo Boo is. If you don’t, please do me a favor and DON’T look her up. The last thing we need is more hits on Google for that name. Honestly, America, get your bratty, over-sexualized daughters up out of my face.
It’s nice to know that at least 3 of the 5 re-discoveries were pleasant. Every time I see a penny or a Toddler in Tiara ad, I’ll just have to snack on a Twizzler, grab some free water, or go on a Dollar Store shopping spree. God Bless America.
