The not-so-smooth talkers of Buenos Aires
Welcome to another post in my Dating in Buenos Aires series. This whole series began due to my post: Argentine Pickup Approaches AKA Why I’m Single. In the spirit of the first post, I thought I would share some of the choice lines I have heard from men in Buenos Aires. If only I had recordings and photos to go along with these, they would truly send shivers down your spine.
Puedo volar allí?
Translation: Can I fly there?
Context: While I was pushing through a sweaty crowd at a parade, this weirdo licked his lips, stared directly at my chest tattoo and asked if he could fly there. I am assuming this moron mistook my tattoo of fall leaves for wings and thought himself oh-so-clever to ask if he could fly into my breasts. You can imagine how devastated I was when the crowd shifted me away from this witty gentleman.
“Che mariposa, que linda que sos. Me mostrás tu mariposa?”
Translation: Hey, butterfly, how pretty you are. Can you show me your butterfly?
Context: Yet another idiot who cannot tell that my tattoo is of leaves, not a butterfly. This car window washer walked alongside me trying to get a nice look at my tattoo and get my attention for half a block. He just kept looking at my chest and asking to get a closer look at my “butterfly.”
“Salud, belleza, que hermosa sos, preciosa”
Translation: Bless you, beautiful, how beautiful you are, precious
Context: I was sneezing on the street. Yep, that’s right, eyes closed, horribly contorted face, mucus flying out of my nose – the whole sneezing ordeal. This total creepster actually hit on me while I was sneezing. Incredible.
“Lo hice con todo el amor de mi corazón”
Translation: I made it with all the love of my heart
Context: This was a classic line from a guy who works at my favorite ice cream shop. I never gave good old Nelson his own Dating in Buenos Aires spotlight because he is not creepy, just incredibly awkward. Every time I order ice cream from him, he chats with me for 20 minutes while I impatiently eye the flavors. Once, as he was handing me my ice cream cone, he told me he had made it with all the love of his heart. Now, we all know I have dated guys for ice cream (more than once) but saying you scooped my ice cream with love is just awkward and makes me feel like eating it counts as flirting. For the record, I still ate the ice cream, I just avoided eye contact with Nelson while I ate it.
Oh, men of Buenos Aires. You really need to step up your game. Or maybe I am just a creepster magnet. I think the latter is pretty likely.
What’s the worst pick up line you have heard when abroad?