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Picky Girl Reveals Deal Breaking Lines

This week for the Dating in Buenos Aires series, I thought I would take a break from bad dates to admit something about myself: I am picky.

While most of us can agree that many of the men (boys?) features in this series are clear duds (Um, remember the guy who didn’t know dinosaurs weren’t mammals? Or the guy who called and breathed heavily into the phone?). However, I get a lot of crap on and offline about my high standards.

I’m not going to try to deny it. I’ve had my share of boyfriends, but I never said yes right away. But hey, I made some relationships last. At least I can admit to my pickiness and share the comedy of my deal breaking lines. Enjoy.

“I don’t read fiction”

Sigh. This guy could really make me laugh, but as soon as these words escaped his lips, I knew it would never work. All I could imagine was him reading one of my poems and saying “Aren’t poems supposed to rhyme? I don’t get it” or him trying to get me to read a DIY book instead of a classic piece of literature. It just wasn’t going to happen.

“I have seen Linkin Park twice. They are one of my favorite bands”

Absolutely unacceptable. We all have guilty pleasures, but there was nothing guilty about this confession. It wasn’t even a confession, it was presented like an interesting conversational tidbit. Listen, buddy, I studied Audio Production and I am appalled that somehow Linkin Park got away with selling an entire album of remixed songs. I bet that mixer used an alias because honestly, who openly admits they love Linkin Park?

“I only have two tattoos. They are both of the Rolling Stones”

While I am not a fan of the Rolling Stones, that is not why this was a deal breaker. I have issues with band tattoos. If you love their music so much, get something that represents their music, not their name. Also, who the hell gets two tattoos for the same generic band? Lame.

“I believe a woman should raise the family, the man should be the provider”

You know what makes this one worse? I was 17 when this guy said this to me. It was his response to my description of my career goals. What a winner. Last I heard he is having all kinds of babies, is a good 40 pounds heavier and working a job he hates. Bring home that bacon, you sexist douche.

“I would never allow my child to believe being gay is okay”

I am not even going to try to explain why this is a deal breaker. This has nothing to do with being picky and has everything to do with basic human rights.

“I never want to have a job I care about. I just want to leave whenever I want. Get a motorcycle, you know, just like Hunter S. Thompson”

Glad to see that Thompson could inspire such greatness.

“I moved back in with my parents”

Did I mention this guy was 30? Nope. Not happening.

“I want to be a politician. I don’t vote though, I don’t want to vote for them, I want to be them”

So many drugs played into the erosion of this boy’s flawed logic. It was bad enough that he wanted to be a politician, but the fact that he thought by not voting at all he could accomplish something, well, it really just made me sad.

Stay tuned next week for yet another Buenos Aires Dating failure. Up next: Hernan.

 

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