10 Types of Travelers We All Hate

As travelers, we are always running into fellow travelers, making friends and connections. However, let’s be real here- we don’t love everyone we meet. Here are the 10 types of travelers we have all had the misfortune of meeting.

1. Travel McDouchebag

This traveler has been everywhere. They have seen lakes you didn’t know existed and been in caves that collapsed after they left so no one can ever see them again. These are the people that live to find a place you have never heard of and tell you how worthless your life is without having seen it.

2. BloggityBloggerton.com

This traveler is a blogger. They have a blog. All about travel. A Travel Blog, if you will, BloggityBloggerton.com- check it out! Okay, we all love travel bloggers but no one wants every sentence to come with a tagline ending in “dot com!” These people will do anything to get you to their blog, including mentioning it about 20 times in a single conversation.

3. The Stats Guy

This is a subspecies of BloggityBloggerton.com, The Stats Guy is a travel blogger with a stats obsession. The kind of blogger that takes so much pride in their site that they feel the need to inform you of how many pageviews, comments, stumbles and whatever else they have gotten every single hour. They’ll tweet it, facebook it and shout it from the top of an obscure mountain. They will also blog about said mountain and tell you how many people read about it.

4. Señor un peu d’ everything

This traveler is a connoisseur of languages, one who appreciates the value of speaking a foreign tongue. The problem? They speak “a little of everything” and don’t speak a single foreign language well. These people stumble through the simplest of phrases, mixing two or three languages at once, all with terrible pronunciation, and then try to laugh it off and say “Oh I know a bit of so many languages, it’s hard to keep them straight!” Newsflash- You sound like an idiot and the only people laughing are the locals.

5. The Pretentious Minimalist

If you are carrying more than 3 pairs of underwear, 2 shirts and a a pair of pants- this person wants nothing to do with you. What’s that you say? You own a decorative scarf that serves no real warming purposes? Disgusting. I think we can all admire the strength it takes to sell off your stuff and hit the road with just a backpack, but those extremists can really get in your face. Stop trying to guilt trip me for carrying eyeliner and go hand wash your thread-bare undies.

6. The Hostel Travel Slut

Wooo you’re in another country! GET CRAZY! The best part about co-ed dorms is you can stay in your room and still make your rounds in a few guys’ or girls’ beds from around the world, am I right?! Sleeping in a hostel dorm can be rough enough, but listening to the moans from the beds next to you certainly doesn’t make it any easier. These Travel Sluts have the mindset that being in a different country means no rules, no holding back, and no nights alone.

7. TweetShit Crazy

New article! #travel #blog #awesome #pleaseloveme! Tweeting out your articles is completely acceptable, but have some restraint. The TweetShit Crazies like to tell you about their new article about every 20 minutes. How many more people do you think you are reaching in that time frame? And stop asking us to retweet your tweets. We won’t do it.

8. Bachelors of Drinking Arts

Studying abroad is a great way to get started with traveling, but it is also where you can separate the real travelers from the drinkers. These students sign up for 1 class at the local university and show up hungover every day, or not at all. They might stop by a few tourist spots, but usually you can just find them charging drinks to their parent’s credit card at the local bar. Cheap beer tastes better in Europe, right?

9. The Walking Press Release

This trip is sponsored by MyShitisFree.biz! I am loving my cocktails, on the house thanks to MyShitisFree! Check them out if you ever want to go on a trip! This traveler gets paid to travel, which is great and all, but I’m a lot more interested in the trip and not all the perks you indulged in. How am I supposed to read your article if I can’t get past the flashy banner? I am also not inclined to trust your opinion if every sentence sounds like a sales pitch.

10. The Jaded Self Depreciator

The bitter traveler who writes endless rants and makes lists like this.